Living Abroad Looks Different on Instagram vs Reality — Honest Version

 

Nobody Talks About This Side of Living Abroad — The Loneliness, the Lessons, and the Real Talk You Need to Hear

by [Ravi Bhardwaj] | Personal Experience | Life Abroad

This is a personal blog. Everything written here is from my own experience of living and working abroad as an Indian. No filters. No highlight reel. Just honest.

Let me paint you a picture.

It is 9 PM on a Wednesday. You just finished a Eight to Nine hour shift. Your feet hurt. Your back hurts. You are hungry but too tired to cook anything proper. You open your phone and see your family having dinner together on a video call — your mum made kheer, your favourite — and suddenly the most beautiful island in Europe feels like the loneliest place on earth.

Nobody posts that moment on Instagram.

But that moment is more real than every aesthetic travel photo you have ever seen.

I have been living and working abroad for over a year now. And I want to tell you the truth — all of it. The beautiful parts that make you cry from gratitude, and the dark parts that make you cry from exhaustion. Because if you are thinking about making this move, you deserve the complete picture — not just the highlight reel.

This is that complete picture.

The Reality Nobody Prepares You For

Living abroad sounds like a dream. And in many ways it genuinely is. But there is a version of abroad life that nobody talks about — and it is the version that makes or breaks people.

It is survival mode. Every single day.

Back home in India, you have a support system so deeply embedded in your life that you do not even notice it until it is gone. Your mum who reminds you to eat. Your friend who calls just to talk nonsense. The chai wala who knows your order without you saying a word. Your neighbourhood that feels like it belongs to you.

Abroad, you start from zero. Every single thing — finding a doctor, understanding a bill, fixing something in your apartment, navigating a public transport system in a language you do not speak, making a single friend — requires effort. Conscious, deliberate, exhausting effort.

And some days you have that energy. And some days you absolutely do not.

The days you do not have that energy — those are the days that test you. Those are the days you find out what you are actually made of.

The Things You Miss — And Nobody Warned You About

People will tell you that you will miss your family. And yes, obviously. That one everyone knows.

But here are the things that hit different and nobody warned me about:

Street food. Oh god, the street food. I am not even talking about fancy restaurant food. I am talking about the ₹20 pav bhaji from the guy on the corner. The chaat that hits different at 11 PM. The cutting chai in a tiny glass that somehow fixes everything. You will not find that here. Some cities in Europe have Indian restaurants — some of them are actually good. But it is not the same. It is never the same. And on a bad day, that absence hits you somewhere deep in your chest that you cannot explain to anyone who has not experienced it.

Familiar noise. India is loud. Horns, vendors calling out, neighbours arguing, birds, construction, music from somewhere always. Europe — especially small towns and islands — is quiet. And at first that quiet feels peaceful. But after a while, the silence starts to feel heavy. Like the world forgot you were there.

People who just get it. Back home, you never have to explain yourself. Your humour, your references, your food habits, your family dynamics, your festivals — everyone around you shares the same cultural software. Abroad, you spend a surprising amount of energy just explaining yourself. Who you are. Where you are from. What your country is like. Why you eat this and not that. It is exhausting in a way that is very hard to describe.

Comfort when you are sick. This one is brutal. When you fall sick abroad — and you will, especially in your first winter — there is nobody to bring you soup. Nobody to sit next to you. You go to a pharmacy, point at symptoms because you do not know the local word for them, buy medicine, go home, and take care of yourself. Alone. That specific loneliness is a different level.

Just switching off. Back home, relaxing is easy because everything is familiar. Abroad, even your days off require effort — figuring out what to do, where to go, how to get there. True rest — the kind where your brain completely switches off — takes much longer to find when everything around you is still slightly unfamiliar.

The Emptiness — Let's Actually Talk About It

I want to spend a moment here because I think it is important.

There will be days — especially in the first few months — where you feel a specific kind of emptiness that is different from sadness. It is not depression exactly. It is more like... being in between. You are not fully here, and you are no longer fully there. You exist in a strange middle space where home feels far away and the new place has not yet become home.

That feeling is real. It has a name — it is called cultural displacement, and almost everyone who has made a significant move abroad experiences it.

Days move fast when you are working. Shifts, sleep, shift, sleep. You look up and a month has passed. But inside, time feels slow. Like you are watching your life from slightly outside yourself.

What got me through it:

  • Calling home regularly — not just quick check-ins, but real conversations. Tell your family what your day looked like. The small things.
  • Creating small rituals — a specific coffee spot on days off, a playlist for the commute to work, cooking Indian food on Sundays. Rituals give your brain anchors.
  • Letting yourself feel it — do not bottle it up or tell yourself you should not be struggling. You moved to a foreign country alone. It is hard. It is supposed to be hard. Give yourself permission to acknowledge that.
  • Finding one person — just one friend, colleague, or fellow expat you can be honest with. You do not need a social circle right away. You just need one genuine human connection.

The emptiness does not disappear overnight. But gradually, slowly, the new place starts to fill it. The island, the colleagues, the small routines, the view from your window — it starts to become yours. And one day you realise you are not just surviving anymore. You are starting to live.

That day will come. I promise.

The Story I Need to Tell You — Because It Could Save You From a Mistake

Okay. This is the part where I get very real with you.

I want to tell you something that happened to me — not to scare you, but because I genuinely believe knowing this could protect someone reading this from making the same mistake.

When I was looking for my first job in Europe, I got an offer from a 4-star property. It looked beautiful online. The view was incredible — sea, mountains, the whole thing. The interview went well. The employer was charming, spoke nicely, made promises about the role, the growth, the working conditions. Everything sounded good.

Here is something I did not know then that you need to know now.

In Europe, a 4-star or 3-star family-owned property is completely different from what those star ratings mean in India.

In India, a 4-star hotel is a proper operation. Large team. Multiple departments. Structured HR. Defined roles. Real systems.

In Europe — especially in smaller towns and on islands — a 4-star family-owned hotel can mean 5 to 15 staff members running the entire operation. The owner is also the manager is also sometimes the receptionist. It is a small family business that has been awarded stars based on facilities, not on the scale of operation. It is not a bad thing — some of these properties are absolutely gorgeous and professionally run. But it is a very different world from what an Indian hospitality professional expects when they hear "4-star."

I did not know that. And I did not dig deep enough before accepting.

Here is what actually happened.

The employer had paid the agency a fee to place a worker. And I had also paid the agency a placement fee. So this employer essentially got a worker — me — at a below-market salary, having already recouped his cost through the agency arrangement.

I worked for four months with no days off.

No offs. Not one.

And here is the clever part — they did not break any law technically. They know exactly how to play within the rules. They know that workers from India — especially those who came through an agency, who are still figuring out their visa situation, who do not speak the local language, who do not know their rights — are less likely to push back. They count on your gratitude for being there, your fear of losing the job, and your unfamiliarity with local labour rights.

They use your mindset against you.

I am not saying every family-owned property in Europe is like this. Absolutely not — some of the best work experiences abroad are in small, genuine family properties run with real heart and integrity. I have met incredible property owners here.

But I am saying: be careful. Do your research. Ask the right questions before you go.

How to Protect Yourself — The Questions to Ask Before You Accept Any Job Abroad

Based on my experience, here are the things you must clarify in writing before accepting any job offer in Europe:

About the contract:

  • Is the contract signed and stamped before you travel — or only after you arrive?
  • What is the exact gross salary and what are the deductions?
  • What is the contract duration and what happens at the end?
  • Are there penalty clauses if you leave early?

About working conditions:

  • How many days off per week are guaranteed in the contract?
  • What are the exact working hours per day and per week?
  • Is overtime compensated — and how?
  • Is accommodation provided — and if yes, is it deducted from salary?

About the property:

  • How many staff members work at the property?
  • Is this a family-owned operation or a managed property?
  • Can you speak to a current or previous employee before you accept?

About the agency:

  • Did the employer also pay the agency a fee? (If yes, be alert — this can create a situation where both sides paid for you, meaning pressure to recoup that cost through your labour)
  • What happens if there is a dispute between you and the employer?
  • Does the agency have a formal complaints process?

If an employer refuses to answer these questions or gets defensive — that is your answer.

Visa and Work Permit in Europe — What You Actually Need to Know

This is something a lot of people get confused about and it is important to understand clearly.

In Europe — especially within the EU and Schengen Area — your immigration status works differently from what most Indians expect.

The Visa is what gets you into the country. For working purposes, this is usually a national visa (Type D) that allows you to enter and begin working.

The Temporary Residence Permit (called different things in different countries — Boraviลกna dozvola in Croatia, for example) is what allows you to stay and legally work beyond the initial visa period. This is not the same as the visa — it is a separate document that you apply for after arriving.

Here is the critical thing: your residence permit is tied to your employer and your contract. If you change jobs, you usually need to inform the immigration authorities and update your permit. If your employer terminates your contract, your right to stay in the country can be directly affected depending on local laws.

This is why your contract matters so much. And this is why some unscrupulous employers use your visa and permit situation as quiet leverage over you — because they know that losing the job can mean losing your legal right to stay.

What to do:

  • Understand exactly what documents you hold and what they mean
  • Know the contact details of your country's immigration office
  • Connect with a local legal aid or workers' rights organisation as soon as you arrive
  • Never sign documents you do not understand without getting them explained first
  • Keep digital and physical copies of every document you hold — passport, visa, residence permit, contract, everything

Knowledge is your biggest protection. An employer can only take advantage of what you do not know.

The Things You Must Pack — An Honest Checklist

Okay let us get practical. Here is the checklist I wish someone had given me before I left India.

๐Ÿ”Œ Tech and Essentials

  • [ ] Universal travel adapter — Europe uses Type C, E, and F sockets. India uses D and M. You will need an adapter from day one.
  • [ ] Portable power bank — minimum 20,000 mAh. You will use this constantly.
  • [ ] Unlocked smartphone — buy a local SIM card as soon as you land for affordable data
  • [ ] Laptop or tablet — for contracts, video calls, banking, and everything official
  • [ ] USB-C multi-port hub — one plug, everything charges

๐Ÿงด Personal and Health

  • [ ] Prescription medicines for 3–6 months — getting your Indian prescription filled abroad is complicated and expensive
  • [ ] Your medical records — especially if you have any existing conditions
  • [ ] Basic first aid kit — paracetamol, ORS sachets, Band-Aids, antiseptic
  • [ ] Sunscreen (SPF 50+) — European summers are intense
  • [ ] Moisturiser and lip balm — European winters are very dry, especially if you are used to Indian humidity

๐ŸŒถ️ Food and Comfort

  • [ ] Indian spices — turmeric, cumin, coriander, garam masala, red chilli powder. Pack more than you think you need.
  • [ ] Instant foods for the first week — Maggi, instant upma, poha. Your first week is chaotic and you will thank yourself for this.
  • [ ] A good reusable water bottle — tap water is drinkable in most of Europe
  • [ ] Tiffin box or airtight containers — for carrying food to work

๐Ÿ“„ Documents (Keep originals + 3 physical copies + digital copies of everything)

  • [ ] Passport
  • [ ] Visa and all immigration documents
  • [ ] Employment contract
  • [ ] Educational certificates and transcripts
  • [ ] Bank statements
  • [ ] Travel and health insurance documents
  • [ ] Emergency contact list (written on paper, not just in your phone)

๐Ÿง  Mental Health

  • [ ] Downloaded offline content — movies, shows, music in your language. For the quiet evenings.
  • [ ] A journal — writing genuinely helps process the emotional rollercoaster
  • [ ] Photos of home — print a few. Put them up wherever you are staying. It helps more than you think.

The Things That Will Get You Through

I want to end this section with something real.

The courage it takes to leave everything familiar and build a life somewhere completely new is something most people will never fully understand — including some of the people closest to you back home.

There will be days when the courage runs out. When you are tired of being strong. When surviving feels like too much and thriving feels like a fantasy.

On those days — remember why you came. Remember what you are building. Remember that every single person who has ever made this journey felt exactly what you are feeling. And most of them made it through.

You are not weak for struggling. You are brave for staying.

Quick Reality Check — A Honest Summary

The Good The Hard
Independence and personal growth Loneliness especially in early months
World-class professional exposure Missing home food and comfort
Higher earning potential Language and cultural barriers
Beautiful environments and travel Empty evenings and quiet weekends
International network and friendships Navigating systems alone
Skills no classroom can teach Some employers will try to exploit you
You become unbreakable You have to break first

Final Words — From Someone Still in the Middle of the Journey

I am not writing this from the other side of a success story. I am writing this from the middle of one.

Some days I have it figured out. Some days I am still just figuring it out one shift at a time. Some days the island is the most beautiful place I have ever been and some days I would trade it all for one plate of my mother's dal.

Both things are true at the same time. That is what living abroad actually looks like.

If you are thinking about making this move — go. But go prepared. Go with your eyes open. Go knowing it will be hard and beautiful and lonely and incredible all at once.

And if you are already out here — I see you. Keep going. You are doing something most people only talk about.

One day at a time. ๐ŸŒŠ

If this hit different and you needed to read this today — share it. There is someone in your contacts right now thinking about moving abroad who needs the honest version, not the Instagram version. Send it to them.

Drop your questions or your own story in the comments. I read every single one.

Tags: living abroad as an Indian, life abroad reality, Indian working in Europe, moving abroad alone, abroad life loneliness, what to pack for abroad, work permit Europe India, honest abroad life blog, Indian chef in Europe, survival guide living abroad

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